Country + Worship = Angry Guitar Player
I have a theory regarding music:
1. Rock music reigns supreme. Not the whiny crap like Staind, or Saliva. Just good old fashioned Rock, whether it be Zeppelin, the Who, old school Petra, or for me nowadays, Switchfoot, Goo Goo Dolls, and U2. Just good Rock music.
2. Pop music is the music that just wasn't good enough to become a rock tune.
3. Country music is the stuff that was so bad it couldn't be made into a decent, mindless pop tune (although there is an exception to this that will be discussed in the next post).
4. And Christmas music is the stuff that was so wretched it couldn't even be made into a "some mean poopface kicked my dog and ran over my girlfriend's vagina with his wannabe John Deere tractor while wearing a straw hat" country song.
5. And then right below that is worship music. (Also, rap doesn't count for anything.)
My mom convinced me to play for church this weekend, and we had practice tonight. It was an interesting practice. The guy that usually leads isn't going to be around on Sunday, so the other worship leader is covering. Here's the thing. The regular leader, whom I will call Bob, though his name is not Bob, is good guy with a good heart that has a smidgeon of musical talent and keeps practices short, but in my mind keeps the quality low. The other guy, Ralph (again not his name) is something of weiner...a nice guy, but still a bit campy, but a fully certified, well trained music teacher, that tends to make practices way longer than they need to be, but allows for some music to reach its potential (limited though it may be). Bob felt like he should still be at practice tonight to make sure it "went well."
The first two songs quickly turned into Country Two-Steps...just the the way Bob likes it. The third song was Forever, by Chris Tomlin. I've done it in the past like a U2 song. I asked if we could try it that way, and told the drummer what to play. He did it just the way I asked, and we were progressing through the song. We get done, and the singers all say, thats just way too slow, it has to be twice as fast. Which was a lie. It didn't need to be a ton faster, it just needed to be tighter...but it wasn't a two step, it was a rock groove, which meant they couldn't just spit lyrics out like a bulemic chick showing you what she had for dinner. Instead, Bob came running up going on and on about the need for this song to be really cranking because it's the third song in the block, and it has to be faster, and do it like this: and proceeded to play a country two step...again.
At that point, I asked why every song was turning into a country tune, and stated an abbreviated version of my theory on music. Surprisingly, it was not appreciated by the collective group of middle aged "easy listening" radio fans. Meanwhile, Ralph looked on in pain, because he liked the U2 feel, and knew why it wasn't working with the singers, but was not allowed to fix it, because Bob was there to dominate the scene. So here's my thoughts on it...
Why is it that in most churches, (not all mind you) the person with the good heart seems to take precedence over the person talent? I understand that you have to be meeting a certain level of agreed upon Christian morality, and that's fine, but all things equal, it seems like the charismatic, good looking guy with minimal talent but a "good heart" is given the reigns to ministry over the geeky, average guy thats got loads of talent and training.
Also, why is it that most church worship teams are willing to settle for mediocre? There are exceptions of course, but by and large, I feel like churches are regularly settling for mediocre. Well, its not 1980's Michael W. Smith Mulletfest, so its an improvement. I gotta be honest, at this point, if you're stuck at Paul Baloche droning key of E in your stylish haircut and chintzy goatee, you're still behind, and if everything has to be country, you don't have to look far to figure out why your church won't grow. I'm not expert on church growth, but when you want to be a church that can reach out to the college across the street, playing music that doesn't suck will help.
Music is such a huge part of our culture, and its something that leaves an impression. I've had friends that visited my church and said, well, it was ok, but the music was pretty hoaky. Hmm...I wonder why they haven't been back. And if you say they weren't focused on the right things to begin with, may I point out that sometimes things actually hinder the ability to focus, regardless of how strong the intention is. One such hindrance is shitty music. Sometimes the music is so painful I want to go trip an old person. That's horrible. It's time for the Church to stop settling for mediocre and start seeking to do what Psalm 33 says, "Sing to the Lord a new song; play skillfully and shout for joy."
Just remember, it says play skillfully, not shittily...
1. Rock music reigns supreme. Not the whiny crap like Staind, or Saliva. Just good old fashioned Rock, whether it be Zeppelin, the Who, old school Petra, or for me nowadays, Switchfoot, Goo Goo Dolls, and U2. Just good Rock music.
2. Pop music is the music that just wasn't good enough to become a rock tune.
3. Country music is the stuff that was so bad it couldn't be made into a decent, mindless pop tune (although there is an exception to this that will be discussed in the next post).
4. And Christmas music is the stuff that was so wretched it couldn't even be made into a "some mean poopface kicked my dog and ran over my girlfriend's vagina with his wannabe John Deere tractor while wearing a straw hat" country song.
5. And then right below that is worship music. (Also, rap doesn't count for anything.)
My mom convinced me to play for church this weekend, and we had practice tonight. It was an interesting practice. The guy that usually leads isn't going to be around on Sunday, so the other worship leader is covering. Here's the thing. The regular leader, whom I will call Bob, though his name is not Bob, is good guy with a good heart that has a smidgeon of musical talent and keeps practices short, but in my mind keeps the quality low. The other guy, Ralph (again not his name) is something of weiner...a nice guy, but still a bit campy, but a fully certified, well trained music teacher, that tends to make practices way longer than they need to be, but allows for some music to reach its potential (limited though it may be). Bob felt like he should still be at practice tonight to make sure it "went well."
The first two songs quickly turned into Country Two-Steps...just the the way Bob likes it. The third song was Forever, by Chris Tomlin. I've done it in the past like a U2 song. I asked if we could try it that way, and told the drummer what to play. He did it just the way I asked, and we were progressing through the song. We get done, and the singers all say, thats just way too slow, it has to be twice as fast. Which was a lie. It didn't need to be a ton faster, it just needed to be tighter...but it wasn't a two step, it was a rock groove, which meant they couldn't just spit lyrics out like a bulemic chick showing you what she had for dinner. Instead, Bob came running up going on and on about the need for this song to be really cranking because it's the third song in the block, and it has to be faster, and do it like this: and proceeded to play a country two step...again.
At that point, I asked why every song was turning into a country tune, and stated an abbreviated version of my theory on music. Surprisingly, it was not appreciated by the collective group of middle aged "easy listening" radio fans. Meanwhile, Ralph looked on in pain, because he liked the U2 feel, and knew why it wasn't working with the singers, but was not allowed to fix it, because Bob was there to dominate the scene. So here's my thoughts on it...
Why is it that in most churches, (not all mind you) the person with the good heart seems to take precedence over the person talent? I understand that you have to be meeting a certain level of agreed upon Christian morality, and that's fine, but all things equal, it seems like the charismatic, good looking guy with minimal talent but a "good heart" is given the reigns to ministry over the geeky, average guy thats got loads of talent and training.
Also, why is it that most church worship teams are willing to settle for mediocre? There are exceptions of course, but by and large, I feel like churches are regularly settling for mediocre. Well, its not 1980's Michael W. Smith Mulletfest, so its an improvement. I gotta be honest, at this point, if you're stuck at Paul Baloche droning key of E in your stylish haircut and chintzy goatee, you're still behind, and if everything has to be country, you don't have to look far to figure out why your church won't grow. I'm not expert on church growth, but when you want to be a church that can reach out to the college across the street, playing music that doesn't suck will help.
Music is such a huge part of our culture, and its something that leaves an impression. I've had friends that visited my church and said, well, it was ok, but the music was pretty hoaky. Hmm...I wonder why they haven't been back. And if you say they weren't focused on the right things to begin with, may I point out that sometimes things actually hinder the ability to focus, regardless of how strong the intention is. One such hindrance is shitty music. Sometimes the music is so painful I want to go trip an old person. That's horrible. It's time for the Church to stop settling for mediocre and start seeking to do what Psalm 33 says, "Sing to the Lord a new song; play skillfully and shout for joy."
Just remember, it says play skillfully, not shittily...
